


Now or Never

by pandafarts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bottom Victor, Bottom Yuuri, First Time Bottoming, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Top Victor, Top Yuuri, mess of emotions, vulnerable victor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:45:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandafarts/pseuds/pandafarts
Summary: Can he really trust Yuuri for this?Yes absolutely.Will he work up the courage?Maybe.In which a first occurs for both sides.





	1. Chapter 1

Now or Never  
So my fic about ice cream was well recieved, like more than some of my other stories, so I thought I'd dip my hand into something a little more intense? I'm so nervous to do this, but my sexy/sweet headcanon was too much.Basically Victor is the more experienced one, but he never bottoms, because it feels too vulnerable and Yuuri is someone he'd be okay doing that with.Also will include their first time as a couple. Multi chap because I need time to edit.

With every step in the morning he could feel the protest in his knees, his feet. Less of a pop or actual pain, but something that promised that, yes, when he was an old man he would feel all the quads he had skated.

His hair was no longer thinning as badly, thanks to the jar on his vanity that Chris had brought him from Paris. 

Still, as Victor showers and notes the stiffness he can never seem to shake, he feels momentarily envious of the young man snoozing in the warm bed he had just vacated.  
Yuuri was 4 years younger, but oh the difference between 24 and 28! He was just starting a figure skating career that would surely rival or surpass Victor's. Of course by the time he was half done, Victor would be retired. Damned human skeleton and it's limitations.

Yuuri seemed so pure to him, which in many ways he was. He was despite being in Victor's bed, a virgin, which was entirely Victor's fault. He was of course, pure in other ways as well. Yuuri was making his intent pretty well known. He was after all, his fiance for crying out loud! For someone as shy as Yuuri to initiate kisses .... well the kind of kisses Yuuri initiated were legendary. Amazing deep, soft kisses, that made Victor wish he had never kissed anyone else.

Still....Victor had a philosophy that he wouldn't have Yuuri do anything he himself couldn't do, on or off the ice. 

Victor, in all his years, had well never been with a man. Not in both ways. Penetrating someone was all fine and dandy. Being on your back was.... different..

Victor wasn't really as experienced as everyone thought. The numbers were up. For sure, he had been with a number of guys, hell even some women before he realized he was gay. He got tested every so often when he was active. He was clean. And honestly a bit lucky.

Still, he had never been on the receiving end, and he was honestly quite sympathetic to any nervous feelings his little kasudon may be experiencing.  
Maybe it was because he had been gay in an age, where it was bad to be gay. Where doing a man was slightly more "manly". Bullshit, all of it. But still stupidly in the back of his mind  
He didn't want Yuuri in that way to emasculate him. Had never wanted that for any of his partners. He genuinely had respected all of his little trysts one way or another, and in general a good time was had. Nobody got hurt. Except for maybe Victor, because after a while, all he was was someone to get dick from, and a great ice skater. Nobody asked about his past, his crap childhood, or offered to walk Makkachin when he boofed at the door. Nobody rubbed his back when he threw up from getting food poisoning at the restaurant Phichit was stupid to recommend. Nobody made him feel like sex, sex of all things, was a way to receive love instead of shame.  
Until Yuuri, and that was both miraculous and terrifying.  
He exits the shower and his beloved is stirring. His shirt has ridden up on his back, exposing the dimples that never go away at any weight he's been at. He breathes in sharply, with a nearly grumpy expression, and makes an awkward grab for the blue spectacles next to his dresser and all Victor can think is that yes, this incredible person asked him to marry him. Wanted him, in more than just sexual ways.

"Stay close to me" Isn't that what he had said? Victor was dumbfounded time and time again, that sitting on the couch rubbing his foot against Yuuri's own could feel more intimate than any casual encounter he's had.  
Is this the difference between "Eros" and "Agape"?

Can't they have both?

Sometimes the domesticity is so lovely that he could drown in it. Drown is something that is supposed to be comforting, because it's just that new.

The smile Yuuri gives him when he treads into the bedroom is like the sun coming up after a long, crappy night.

Can he really trust Yuuri for this?  
Yes absolutely.  
Will he work up the courage?  
Maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bathtub naughties! I will edit further tomorrow, as of now I am tired and just wanna get it up.~ Pun intended? XD

Later, after Yuuri has showered, and Makkachin has been walked, Victor supposes he could tell him.  
Later after breakfast is cooked and they head out to the rink, Victor guesses that would be an okay time as well.

By the time they drag their feet home after the long day, the long day filled with "good times to talk to Yuuri" Victor is so discouraged with his own cowardice that he heads to take a bath and to stew in his misery.  
The door creaks, and there is Yuuri. What could he say to him now?

"I was gonna shower after practice, but if you need space...."

Crap! Now look at what he's done. He made his fiance feel unwanted, his own fiance he had propositioned several times since they've met. Someone he.... well led on isn't quite the word, but it's like he asked and hoped, but didn't expect it. 

Now was the time to lead gently into the topic. Delicately, so that he doesn't embarrass himself or cause any damage to his beloved's feelings.

"I don't like bottoming."

Well, there was also that. Blunt and random, just how healthy couples talked about things. He wants to roll his eyes, at himself, how stupid can he be and....

"Why not?" Yuuri asks, like he was asking why Victor prefered chocolate over vanilla. 

Victor chances a glance at his fiance, who is not as nonchalent as he sounds, rather flustered and blushing red hot, but clearly trying to deal with Victor's sudden stupid declaration.To deal with Victor's feelings, like they mattered to him, which they probably did.... how is that? People don't usually care about him...

He doesn't hear the rustle of clothes being removed so when Yuuri slides naked into the tub behind him, he startles violently.  
"Hey, shhh, it's me." Yuuri cautiously puts his arms around him, as if asking permission.  
"Because it makes me feel like someone can really see me." Victor answers after some pause.  
He senses more than feels Yuuri's frown.

"I don't understand. Explain it to me Victor." Yuuri presses his face into the back of his neck and his arms tighten. The water around them, and his fiance's body heat is hot and suddenly, he feels safe.  
"I have an image to uphold. I am taught to smile for the cameras and the fans. Letting go is not easy for me. I have had lovers, some more serious than others, some just for the night, but never anything like this. If I wasn't.. if I wasn't good at what I do, you'd still be here right?" 

"Yes. And for the record, you're selling yourself short." Yuuri nuzzles into his neck and it feels nice.  
"I have slept with a number of people, and I always felt like bottoming was too personal. Giving too much. Vulnerable. I never... trusted someone with my body like that until now. It's scary. How much I want you. Not just in sexual ways either." Here Victor pauses because there's a lump in his throat.

"You feel like the world would stop turning if I left. I know exactly how that feels. But... whenever you are ready, I am here. For whatever you want to share." Yuuri squeezes him, his front plastered to his back, and the security hits him in a delicate swell that seems to make his heart leap and his cock twitch all at once.

"Victor." Yuuri says softly, shifting his hips away from where they rub against Victor's body. Polite as ever, even when they are in the same state.  
"Yuuri?"  
"Would you like me to get out of the tub?"   
Does he need more time?  
Yuuri really does love him

"No. Don't leave." He's not quite hard, but the warmth of the water, the feeling of being respected is swiftly fixing that. Yuuri presses his chest and his hard length against him, and presses hard, wet kisses to Victor's neck, making him crane his neck for more.  
Yuuri smooths his hand down his chest, his stomach, his thighs...  
"I've never done this on another person." Yuuri murmers.  
"Do whatever you like." It was oddly freeing to give control over, but he doesn't have long to think about it, because Yuuri's hand is on him, and he's trying to breathe.

His stroke is smooth because of the water, tight and slow, and it's stupid really because it's just a handjob.  
Except it's not a stranger he met somewhere, not his own hand on lonely nights, it's Yuuri. 

He allows himself to get lost in the slick friction, the heat of Yuuri's hand. He leans back into the embrace and he moans softly. It doesn't even sound like him, so unguarded. He should be embarrassed, but the surrender, the gentle thumb at the tip of his cockhead, feels too good.

A particularly good stroke makes him shudder, and Yuuri uses his unoccupied hand to hold onto one of Victor's and he must be a total sap because he's starting to come like he's a teenager all over again. And Yuuri just grips his hand and murmurs in his ear. Victor briefly catches the Japanese phrase for "I love you" and just like that he's gone. 

After a brief moment it dawns on him that Yuuri is still quite hard.

That simply won't do.


End file.
